


Your Embrace

by HATSS



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Best Friends, Crying, KageHina - Freeform, Karasuno, M/M, Platonic-ish, They're really good friends, always dorks, canonverse, supportive friends, this used to be a Wattpad fanfic but now we're here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29228826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HATSS/pseuds/HATSS
Summary: Kageyama is feeling down, and Hinata wonders what he can do to help
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

It had bothered him all day, not that he hadn’t noticed Kageyama’s strange behavior over the last two weeks. But today, it was bothering him more than usual, and it left him restless. 

The redhead had noticed the way Kageyama’s shoulders dropped just slightly, rather than the way he held himself with pride; the way his eyes were often distant and glassy, rather than their usual sheen of excitement reflected in them; and the way he barely spoke now, not that he was overly talkative. 

But, like, in Hinata’s case, the setter only spoke during practice and to announce his arrival or leave, and that was it. And the thing that bothered him the most, was how Kageyama barely paid attention to him. And, no, he doesn’t mean to sound like an attention seeker, but Hinata knew—everyone knew—Kageyama couldn’t go more than a couple of minutes without calling Hinata a dumbass. 

The usual nickname was something Hinata secret treasures in his heart, and when he messed up on this spike he and Kageyama had been working on yesterday, he had expected the phrase “Hinata dumbass!” and maybe a slap on his back. 

But nothing happened. 

Kageyama had just stood there, a blank look in his eyes until Tanaka bumped into him from the other side of the net, too many balls in his arms for him to carry them all. And then he just snapped out of it, and to Hinata’s dismay, regarded him with a nod before moving back to their earlier starting position. 

Hinata didn’t miss the way Sugawara wore a concerned look on his face, and he even went to talk to him after practice concerning Kageyama, but the silver-haired boy didn’t say anything of much help. 

Hinata sighed from where he sat, surrounded by green grass, trees, and other students walking to and from lunch break. He had his lunch in front of him, almost finished, and Kageyama still wasn’t here. Hinata kept glancing at the two big doors that led into the school, and out to the grassy courtyard. 

Mind you, they both ate together every day despite their bickering, and so it was starting to get on Hinata’s nerves that Kageyama hadn’t bothered to show up for the sixth time these past two weeks. Hinata sighed again, looking down at his half eaten food. He was going to have to leave soon if he didn’t want to be late for class. 

His eyes dart over to the unopened carton of milk. He even saved a box of milk for him. 

“Hi...” came a familiar voice, and Hinata’s head shot up. 

“You’re here!” he exclaimed, looking up at Kageyama, who looked back down at him with half-lidded eyes. “Hey…” Hinata trails off when he sees the slight red puffing at Kageyama’s eyes, and he blinks. “Are you okay?”

Dumb. That’s a dumb question to ask when he could’ve asked that anytime of the week, even though it’s pretty clear something is wrong with Kageyama. Especially with the way he halfheartedly shrugs and then sits by Hinata, slumping against the same tree that supports both of them. 

Hinata looks away before turning to face Kageyama, milk box in hand. He holds it out to Kageyama, and glances up at him when he doesn’t say anything. “I saved some milk...for you,” Hinata mutters, when Kageyama’s fingers lazily reach up to take the milk. 

“Tha...thanks,” Kageyama yawns, and Hinata smiles. Hinata sits back and he squints his eyes when he looks up, eyes catching on the green leaves and school banners posted up. “Daichi said we have some new drills to run, and personally, i’m pretty excited,” Hinata bubbles, his usual cheer coming through in order to lose the silent awkwardness between them. “What about—”

“Don’t…” 

Hinata perks up, a bit confused, and squeaks, “Don’t?”

Kageyama murmurs, “I’m just so tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” 

Hinata’s smile falters, but he quickly hides it—not that Kageyama would have noticed it anyway—and says, 

“Um, y-yeah...that’s, um...that’s fine.” 

Hinata closes his eyes and allows the quiet to consume them, even though everyone around them is loud. It’s not like he ever liked Kageyama. 

And, I mean, he does but he would never admit that to him. And, he doesn't like like him, but he has, like, this need to protect him from his past. He knows about Kageyama’s past, and he knows how awful it must feel to have your teammates abandon you, and...oh god, maybe this is all about that. 

It’s a complete fact that Kageyama sometimes gets in over his head. Tends to read situations that aren’t even happening, and he tends to doubt himself, quite a lot, actually. 

And, yeah, now Hinata is about 88 percent sure that this is what Kageyama’s been down about. And if it isn’t, then shit if even knows his friend well enough. 

And, like every other time, he feels this need kick in. Like an unending adrenaline that urges him to find out the source of solution of every problem. Except this time, it’s Kageyama and whatever he’s dealing with. 

So, maybe a bit different. But, you know, you get the gist. 

The sound of Kageyama crushing his finished milk box brings Hinata out his daze, and the sighs, and this time, it’s content. He feels like he’s equipped with something; like he’s not going into a battle unarmed. 

Which is a pretty dumb analogy for the situation, in his opinion, but he feels more adiment in knowing what might be bothering Kageyama. 

“I’m going,” Kageyama mutters, getting to his feet, pushing his back over his shoulder and walking off. “Wait! Kageyama! Just wa—ow—just give me one second!” Hinata tries to scramble to his feet but instead his hand slips on the rooted oak of the tree, and he falls, his cheek hitting sharply against the ground. 

He doesn’t stop, however, and manages to throw away his trash, loop his bag around his shoulder, and take off after Kageyama, who silently waits by the courtyard doors. Hinata pushes the doors open and holds it for Kageyama who walks past him. 

Hinata lets go of the doors once he steps inside, and it’s close with a loud clunk, behind them. Hinata skitters to keep pace with Kageyama, and they swerve around the other students rapidly filling the halls. 

Hinata stops when he loses the presence of Kageyama beside him, and he stops, looking behind him. “My class,” Kageyama says, nodding to the closed door before sliding it open and stepping inside. 

Hinata frowns, before turning and walking the halls to his own class. He hopes he’ll be able to cheer Kageyama up soon. He misses his friend.


	2. Chapter 2

The loud slam of the gym doors sliding open echoed throughout the large gym, and Hinata bounded through the doors, casual volleyball shirt and shorts already on, the usual grin he wore whenever school finished. Hinata’s volleyball shoes obnoxiously squeak across the shiny laminate floors as he walks over to Tanaka, who’s standing by the volleyball net, adjusting something on the pole. 

“Tanaka-senpai!” Hinata half-yells in greeting, to which he spins around, a smile quickly working its way to his mouth when he sees who it is. “Hinata!” he grins, throwing an arm around the redhead’s neck and pulling him close, passive aggressively ruffling his hair.

Hinata squawks, trying to break free of Tanks grip while simultaneously laughing. “Tana—ka—cant—bre—I can’t breathe—” Hinata gasps, to which Tanka lets go, patting him on the back. When Hinata looks up, recovering, his eyes catch on the post-it-note on the net’s pole. “What is that?” he asks, squinting his eyes and moving closer. “Just a little note,” Tanaka smirks. 

Hinata reads Thanks for the lunch, Daichi on the note. “Lunch?” he questions, briefly visiting his encounter with Kageyama earlier in the day, before Tanaka says, “I took his lunch.”

Hinata gasps, “No!” 

Tanaka nods. “Remember when he played that trick on me and Noya? Taking his lunch was sweet revenge,” Tanaka laughs. Hinata shakes his head, “I’ll see you at your funeral, then.”

Hinata turns, then, leaving Tanaka laughing in his spot, to get the cart of volleyballs out of the storage room. He gets two carts out, leaving one by the back wall of the gym, and another right behind the thick, white painted-on line of the volleyball court. 

His eyes scan over the volleyballs, and, yes, they are all the same, but he likes to start his first serve of the day with one that feels just right. His hands grab for one and, yes, this is the one, the perfect roundness to it and how it fits in his hands perfectly sends satisfaction like little shock waves through his body. The ball itself isn’t deflated in the slightest, the firm hardness of it a familiar fond feeling for the redhead.

He’s moving to serve the ball when he hears the quiet scuffle of shoes against the floor, and he looks up, mouth opening in greeting before shutting it. “Oi, Kageyama, you’re here!” Tanaka yells, and Hinata sighs, eyes intently watching Kageyama as he silently walks over to Tanaka. 

When he gets there, Tanaka pats him on the back and then points the pole, and Hinata assumes he’s retelling his revenge on Daichi. Tanaka appears to ask Kageyama a question, and the black-haired boy just nods before scuffling under the net. 

Hinata hiccups when they make eye contact, and he drops the ball to which it lands on his foot and rolls away. “H-hi, Kageyama,” he greets, the stutter making him internally curse. Why the hell is he so nervous?

Kageyama nods before putting his hands on the cart and dragging it with him as he moves to the right of Hinata. He positions it between them, putting some space between himself and the cart, then he reaches for a volleyball and moves back, setting up for a jump serve. 

“Are you going to serve that ball, shorty?” Hinata jumps and his head snaps around to look/glare at Tsukishima, who smirks down at him. “When did you even get here?” Hinata snaps back, to which the blond raises his hands up. The redhead realizes that the rest of his team is in the gym, now; Daichi scolding Tanaka, Suga and Noya talking, and the rest of them setting up and pulling on knee pads.

“I guess you were too busy staring at the King,” Tsukishima teases, leaning in and speaking louder, probably to get on Kageyama’s nerves since he is right there. 

When Tsuksishima frowns Hinata glances over at Kageyama just in time to see him jump and hit the ball, sending it flying far over the net and landing in the middle of the court. “The shorty must like you, your highness,” Tsukishima speaks even louder, and this time Kageyama looks at him. 

Hinata glances between the two as Kageyama continues to stare at Tsukishima. The blond stands there for a moment longer before clicking his tongue in impatience and walking away, muttering, It’s not even amusing to tease you anymore.

Hinata’s eyes watch as Tsukshims walks to the back wall, Yamaguchi standing by his side in a flash, and then he looks back at Kageyama, who stares at him blankly for a second before moving to get another ball from the cart. 

“So, u-um...how was class?” Hinata asks, and then immediately internally slaps himself. “Fine,” Kageyama murmurs, serving another ball over the net. “Right...hey, did you want to...maybe, u-uh, hang out after practice?” 

Hinata looks at him hopefully. This time Kageyama stops, and looks at him, a bit of life flickering into his eyes and then away so fast, the redhead wonders if he just imagined it. “Sure,” Kageyama responds, and Hinata smiles. 

… 

Practice went quickly, and whether that was due to Hinata’s excitement with the sport or with getting to stay with Kagetama’s afterwards, 

Practice went quickly, and whether that was due to Hinata’s excitement with the sport or with getting to stay with Kageyama afterwards, he wasn’t sure. During practice, they did the usual, serve and recieves to start off, and then skill enhancement drills and practice games after that. Hinata felt pretty satisfied with how they ended off, and started loading up the volleyball cart. 

When he finished, he looked around the gym and quickly spotted the setter, who was sitting on the ground against the wall and pulling off his knee pads. “Kageyamaaa,” Hinata drawled, walking over to him. Kageyama glanced up before untying his shoes. 

Hinata waited patiently, humming a little tune as he watched Kageyama take both of shoes off and rise shakily to his feet. They were about to walk outside when Suga called Hinata to put away the ball cart. 

“Gimme a second,” Hinata said before racing to roll the cart inside the storage room. When he walked back out, he noticed Kageyama wasn’t inside the gym anymore, and when he looked more closely, he realized he was already outside, waiting. 

Hinata scuffles out the doors, and silently walks with Kageyama to the club rooms. When they make it up the stairs and into their club room, Tanaka, Noya, Yamaguchi, and Asahi already in there, it’s then that Hinata asks,

“Do you wanna play video games?” Kageyama nods, taking off his shoes, and Hinata smiles. Video games sound like something to do. And even if Kageyama decides he doesn’t want to play video games, there’s always a sand volleyball court just 15 minutes away from Hinata’s house. 

The two quickly pack up and Hinata waves goodbye to his teammates, Kageyama nods, and they start for Hinata’s house. Hinata drags his bike beside him as he walks, kicking the earthy gravel beneath his feet, and Kageyama walks beside him, silent and eyes staring blankly ahead. 

Hinata looks at him, a bit concerned and at unease for whether he should break the silence, but then he glances away, eyes darting over the trees and skyline to the right of him. 

“So, u-um…” Hinata stammers, still looking away. He hears a rustle of clothes and without looking he knows Kageyama’s looking at him. “What?”

“Did you want to...uh, I mean...are you—”

“Did something break inside your head, dumbass? Just spit it out.” Kageyama says, although the usual use of the term ‘dumbass’ would’ve come with a snap of his tone and an aggressive pat to the head, but still, Hinata can’t help grinning, the motion unseen to Kageyama who continues to stare at him questioningly. 

“Nothing, just—” he turns to look at the setter “—are you okay?”

“You asked that during lunch, too.” 

Hinata’s steps falter and then he fully stops. “Yeah, well I mean...you’ve been kind of weird nowada—”

The sound of a faint melody playing stops them both, and Kageyama reaches a hand into his jacket’s pocket, looking down onto the screen before opening it and holding it up to his ear.

“Mom?”

Hinata lightly sways his bike back and forth, listening to Kageyama hold a conversation with his mom. 

“Yeah, I’m—…i’m with Hinata right now. What? Oh, we were gonna hangout.”

Hinata starts to softly whistle a tune. 

“What, now? Sure—huh? Oh, yeah, I will.”

And then Kageyama flips his phone closed and Hinata fully turns to him. “My mom says hi. She also wants me to come home.”

“Wait, now?” Hinata can feel an ink of despair shoot through him, and he looks hopefully to Kageyama who just nods. “Oh, well then...I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Kageyama nods before turning around and he starts to walk back down the way they came. Hinata watches after him, trying to decide whether to walk Kageyama home or to ride away on his bike. He sighs and shakes his head before mounting his bike and kicking off, making his way towards home.


	3. Chapter 3

Hinata sighed, hopping lightly from foot to foot, impatient and somewhat anxious. He had texted Kageyama the evening before, after he left, and he was a bit surprised that he could keep up the conversation for a while before Kageyama stopped replying. But before that happened, Hinata had asked him if he could walk with him to school. 

It was completely normal for Hinta to walk with Kageyama, whether to school or volleyball practice. Sure Kageyama had always said it annoyed him, but Hinata knows—everyone knows—that if it really annoyed him, he would just leave earlier and without the redhead. 

And, yeah, it wasn’t something Hinata ever asked, it was just natural. But now, Hinata felt like he had an obligation to make sure he didn’t piss Kageyama off or bother him more than usual.

Hinata glanced around him, then, the chilly morning air against his skin as he pulled his jacket together around him. Right now, he was outside Kageyama’s house, waiting for him to hurry the heck up with whatever he was doing. His gaze snapped to the front door, though, when it opened and his mom slipped out from behind it. 

“Shouyou?”

Hinata startled a bit, because he was expecting Kageyama, not his mom, to walk out the door. “Hi, Mrs.Kageyama!” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait inside? Tobio seems to be running a bit late.” Her eyes were filled with concern and Hinata smiled at her. “I’m fine, Mrs.Kageyama!” 

She smiled warmly at him, not fully closing the door behind her and moving to the very edge of the front porch. “Shouyou, can I ask you something?”

Hinata noticed the shift in her tone, noticed the way her eyes had an absence of their usual warmth, and he hesitantly moved closer, attentive. 

“Sure!”

“Does Tobio seem different to you...lately?” 

Hinata swallowed. Apparently he hadn’t been the only one who noticed, which is obvious seeing as that’s Kageyama’s mom and she probably noticed everything about him.

“Tobi—Kageyama’s been kind of...distant?” Hinata tilted his head in thought. “He rarely eats breakfast anymore, and as soon as he comes home he just stays in his bedroom.”

“O-oh…” Hinata trailed off, worry written plain and clear over his face. “I’m worried about him, Shouyou.”

Hinata blinked and looked up at her. “I am, too.”

“Mom?” came a voice from behind the ajar front door, and both Hinata’s and Mrs.Kageyama’s heads shot up and turned to look at the door. 

“What are you doing out—oh...Hinata.” confusion was visible on Kageyama’s face and he left the door wide open as he stepped onto the porch. He was wearing—Hinata noticed—his usual school uniform except his volleyball jacket was hanging loosely around his shoulders. He was also, in his right hand, holding a white plastic bag, and Hinata vaguely wondered what was in there. 

“Hi, Kageyama!” Hinta grinned at him. “What are you doing here?”

Hinata stared at him, “You said I could walk you to school.” 

He pointed at his phone, and Kageyama’s gaze followed over to it. “I did?”

“Yeah...yesterday?” 

Kageyama’s face scrunched up in thought before relaxing. “That’s fine, right?” Hinata quickly asked, not wanting to be rejected right here and now.

Kageyama nods, before turning towards his mom and saying, “I took a couple of meat buns.”

Hinata put his phone in his pocket as she smiled. “That’s fine,” she says before hugging him. Kageyama is a bit stiff in her arms, but returns the hug nonetheless and then walks down the stairs. 

“Bye, Mrs.Kageyama!” Hianta waves at her before taking his bike and quickly moving to stride beside Kageyama. 

“Bye, Tobio, Shouyou!” she calls after them before audibly closing the front door.

“So...meat buns?” Hinata questions with a giggle. He doesn’t miss the way Kageyama’s lips upturn just slightly before he shoves the bag in his face, making the redhead squak in surprise. 

“Hot—ow—that’s hot!” he cries, jerking backwards. “Obviously, dumbass. They’ve been in a steamer since this morning.”

“Why’d you even bring them, your Mom said—...nevermind, are you gonna share them or not.”

“I’ll give you one if you tell me what my Mom said,” Kageyama says with a serious expression. “Oh, well...she was all gwahhh because she was worried about you, and then you came outside.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow. “We didn’t get to talk much,” Hinata replies before trying to vertically tackle the setter, causing his bike to fall down. “Fine—oi—Hinata—dumbass, you’re going to make me drop them!” 

Kageyama hisses at him when Hinata jumps on his tippy toes in an effort to pry the plastic bag out of Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama swings away just in time, and Hinata almost trips and falls to the ground but then Kageyama’s arm loops around his chest just in time. 

“Woah...you’ve got, like, superhuman reflexes,” Hinata admires while also clumsily trying to stand, falling in Kageyama’s arm which then loosens from around him. Hinata can only gasp before he falls straight down with an oof. 

“Ow—Kageyama! What’s your problem—”

Hinata looks up at him and stops. Kageyama’s lips are upturned in a smile and his eyes are sparkling. “Oh,” Hinata breathes, rolling over so he can prop himself up by his elbows. Kageyama’s smiling. He’s smiling.   
And even though the sight of it is enough to make anyone’s blood turn cold, it finds a special place in Hinata’s heart, and he smiles up at Kageyama. 

He lifts a hand, and Kageyama pulls him up. “Thanks,” Hianta grins, dusting off the remnants of gravel off his uniform.

“Here,” Kageyama says, reaching into the bag and pulling out a meat bun. Hinata almost drools as he takes it, and Kageyama rolls his eyes at him. 

“Don’t be so gross, dumbass. It’s just a meat bun.”

“You of—mmm—all people should know—this is, like, really good—the true power of a perfect meat bun,” Hinata says between mouthfuls of food and praise. 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Kageyama scolds, slapping Hinata on the head. 

Hinata glares at him before reaching down for his bike, skillfully eating the meat bun without the use of his hands while he uses them to rearrange the saddle on his bike. 

Then they start walking, Hinata eating his meat bun while Kageyama reaches for one of his own. And then Hinata smiles, the motion a bit awkward because of the meat bun occupying his mouth.

But seriously, he feels happy. And yes, it’s only so early in the morning and everything could change so differently hours from now, and Kageyama’s mood could decrease so quickly and shit could go south, but just being here walking beside him in peaceful silence, makes him happy. 

And for right now, they were just two friends walking side by side and eating meat buns on the way to school.


	4. Chapter 4

Hinata sighs, fingers gripping hard into his black pants. Lunch had started just five minutes ago and he was already impatient. Sure Kageyama usually showed up during the end or not at all, but with their somewhat normal encounter this morning, Hinata had at least expected Kageyama to show up. 

He was outside in their usual spot, leaning against their usual tree they ate by, and there were groups of people outside and settled, already starting to eat. 

Hinata looked down to his own untouched lunch resting on the grass. He wasn’t even hungry anymore. 

“Hinata!”

Hinata’s head shot up and he glanced around, “Fuji?”

In front of Hinata was his classmate—Fujiwara—his uniform’s shirt rolled up sleeves. He had glasses and black cropped hair. Hinata recognized him from his American English Studies class, and he smiled at him. 

“What’s up?” Hinata asked, straightening up from his hunched over position. “Nothing much, but, um...you’re friends with Kageyama, right?”

Hinata’s smile falters a bit. “Yeah? Why? Is something wrong?”

“I’m not sure, but he...he seems more pissed than usual, and just now—” Fuji turns and points towards the courtyard doors, “—he stormed off to the bathroom, and i’m not sure if I saw correctly, but, it looked like he was crying—Hinata, where are you—”

Hinata pushes past Fuji and sprints for the doors, making the classmate disrupt his sentence with surprise and confusion. He hears Fuji call after him, and vaguely realizes he’s left his stuff but pushes it off. And when he gets to the courtyard doors he throws his hands onto the door handles and yanks them open. 

His eyes water slightly at the gust of air that rushes through the opened doors and he blinks, quickly walking down the mostly empty hallway. He constantly glances around him, trying to find Kageyama, and realizes that he could’ve just asked Fuji before he ran away with no thinking whatsoever. He turns down a couple of corners, and then decides on walking up the stairs to the second floor. 

He’s about to walk up the stairs when he remembers something. Fuji had said something about Kageyama and bathroom. Hinata figured it was a place to start, and he turned left at the staircase instead of up. 

The nearest bathroom, one that was close to another school exit, was Hinata’s closest bet to running into the setter, and that was where he was heading now.

The bathroom, after walking a large length of the hallway, soon came into view, the entrance being split between male and female. 

Hinata starts to open the door to the male bathroom, but then the door’s pushing against him forcing his feet back and he squeaks out a sound of surprise when he looks up into equally-surprised eyes. 

“K-kageyama!” 

Kageyama’s eyes widen, and Hinata steps fully back, giving the sitter space. Hinata notices the red blotches in the setter’s skin, especially under his eyes; he didn’t doubt that Fuji was telling the truth. When Hinata’s eyes glanced down to Kageyama’s sleeves, he noticed a faint dampness in them. 

He immediately felt his heart split at the obvious image of his friend looking so...broken. Kageyama’s eyes were drooped and he wouldn’t make contact with Hinata even after stepping outside the bathroom door. 

“Kageyama...what happened to you?” Hinata’s eyes reflect concern, and his lips are pulled down in a frown. Kageyama doesn’t say anything, instead he tries to push past the redhead. 

“Kageyama, i’m serious.”

This time he looks at him, and Hinata’s heart painfully thumps in his chest when he sees tears pricking in the corner of Kageyama’s eyes.

“Just…” Hinata’s hands shakily reach for Kageyama’s, and he grips them tight. “I’m here...you know that, right?”

“I—” Kageyama’s words cut off on a pained breath, and Hinata’s presses the setter’s hands against his cheek. “I’m not—I can’t...Hinata.”

Hinata’s eyebrows scrunch together as he tries to figure out Kageyama’s strained speech through his heavy breaths. 

“What can’t you do?” 

His fingers brush softly over Kageyama’s hand that are pressed to his cheeks, in reassurance. But instead of trying to open up, like Hinata might’ve expected, Kageyama just looks down at the floor, blinks a couple of times, and forcefully pulls his hands out of Hinata’s grasp.

“I’m fine, so just leave me alone, idiot,” Kageyama tries to snap but his voice wavers, and then he turns and pushes past Hinata, walking toward the exit. 

Hinata gapes at him, still feeling the warmth of Kageyama’s hands in his, before—

“You can’t just leave!” Hinata screeches, and Kageyama turns to look at him. “Yes, I can.”

“But i’m trying to—guhhhh, Kageyama! I wanna help you!”

“With what,” Kageyama snaps with a much more force, and this time Hinata jerks back. 

“With...you?” 

Except it comes out as more of a question, and Kageyama raises a brow at him. “What’s wrong with me?”

“N-Nothing, just—ugh—you know what I mean, Kageyama! You’ve been all sad and I—...I just wanna help!”

“I don’t need help with anything! Just...just leave me alone, Hinata,” Kageyama finishes those last words much softer, and Hinata watches as he turns toward the exit doors. 

“But, Kage—”   
His hand reaches up and grabs at Kageyama’s arm before he registers what he’s doing, and Kageyama whips around to glare at him over his shoulder. 

“Let. Go,” he grits, and Hinata swallows. 

“N-no...not until you tell me—”

“There isn’t anything to tell you, Hinata! I’m just...just lost.”

The last words come out as barely a whisper, and Hinata tilts his head in confusion. “Lost?”

“God, just—let me go, dumbass!” Kageyama violently yanks his arm out of Hinata’s grasp, and he stalks towards the doors. 

“Wait, just please—” Hinata tries to quickly follow behind him, but it’s too late and the doors are already slamming shut behind Kageyama’s leave. Hinata stops with his hand on the door handle, and his nose pressed against the glass. “Fine! See if I ever want to help you again!”

It’s admittedly not the best thing to say, but Hinata still shouts it as loud as he can. He’s not even sure if Kageyama heard him, but the students passing by the hall did, and he ignores their concerned stares.

What the hell. 

What the hell.

Does Kageyama hate his guts so much that he’d refuse help, even from him? And what did he mean about being ‘lost?’

Is Kageyama lost? And, you know, Hinata isn’t that clueless, and he figures Kageyama meant it in some metaphorical way, but he still doesn’t understand. 

But with Kageyama quickly walking away, his tall figure soon blending into the groups of students outside, Hinata’s hope for understanding and helping Kageyama start to fade.


	5. Chapter 5

It’s not fun having no one to eat lunch with, Hinata thinks, sitting in his classroom. There were some other people in the classroom, so maybe it wasn’t that bad, but still…

Hinata can’t stop replaying what happened yesterday. But between all his efforts to let Kageyama know he wasn’t alone in battling whatever he was and that he was here for him no matter what, to words and actions he can’t take back, he can’t stop feeling like it went wrong, and, you know, considering everything it did go wrong.

It’s not like he can do anything about it now, he hasn’t seen Kageyama all day and neither have Noya or Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, who Hinata confided in earlier. 

All he got was a sympathetic pat on the shoulder (from Noya), and an annoyed glare and shrug of shoulders (from Tsukishima and Yamaguchi). Hinata sighed, adjusting so that he was resting his chin in his hands, and he closed his eyes.

His untouched lunch box was still unopened in front of him and now, even though he had—as Daichi said, “A huge practice day coming up”—he still couldn’t find the appetite nor the desire to eat. Hinata decides to instead take steady breaths in and out, listening to the exhale and inhale of breaths. 

It’s actually comforting and Hinata himself loses himself and place of time. That is until he hears, 

“Shouyou! (a couple of echoing footsteps) Shouyou—are you asleep?” 

Hinata groans as he opens his eyes and lifts his head to blankly stare up at Noya and Tanaka. “I’m not asleep.”

Hinata stretches as Tanaka turns the chair from the desk in front of him, and turns it to face hinata before sitting down. Noya pulls up a chair from a stray desk and pulls up to the side of his desk. 

“What?” Hinata asks, again resting his chin back into his hands. “We came here to help you eat your lunch,” Tanaka says, pushing the bento box towards Hinata with one push of his finger. “I’m not hungry, so you guys can take it,” Hinata mumbles, pushing the bento back towards Tanaka. 

“Shouyou…” Noya starts, and Tanaka glances at him, “Did something happen between you and Kageyama?”

Hinata’s eyes widen slightly and turns to look at him. “Did it seem like something happened...between me and Kageyama?” 

“No,” Tanaka says, leaning back in his chair. “You just seemed down lately, and you even asked us if we knew Kageyama’s whereabouts.”

“So?” Hinata questions, brows furrowed. 

“Well, I mean, usually you’re the one who’s always with him. We just thought it was weird that you didn’t.”

“We, um...we fought.” Hinata glances at the wall that’s to the left of him, as if it’ll help him fade away from this unwanted conversation. 

“Oh, well—” Noya reaches for the bento box with a hesitant hand, and Hinata nods at him in affirmation, “—you’ll make up soon, right? You usually do.”

Hinata closes his eyes in guilt. He knows it was his fault. He really shouldn’t have forcefully pried at Kageyama, but he still did, and this is where he wound up. 

So instead he says, “I hope so.”

… 

Hinata’s legs stretch and run as fast as they can, carrying him closer and closer to the gym. He can see, from being outside and just some 20 steps away, that the door is already open. And suddenly, it’s like he can already hear the thudding echo of volleyballs being served, and the smell of sweat that so faintly resonates within the gym at all times. 

When he crosses into the gym, an invisible wall of chilled air instantly hits him, and he sighs, the coldness being much needed after the temperature grew to around 79 degrees outside. 

He’s greeted back with waves and “Hinata!” as he loudly laments his arrival to the rest of his teammates. He then sits down to fix his volleyball’s shoe laces, and when he’s done, he stands up and runs for the volleyball cart; which (along with it’s second counterpart) is standing by the volleyball net. 

Hinata smiles as he takes a solid-feeling volleyball into his hands, still ever appreciating the firmness of it in his grasp. 

And while he waits for practice to start, he gets lost in serving, doesn’t even realize how many balls he’s settled in a row, but he stops when Suga calls him and the rest of the team into a group circle. And it’s like how any other volleyball practice day starts, but then all it takes is a quick glance around the huge gym and at his waiting teammates to realize that Kageyama isn’t here. 

An inkling of dread and guilt starts to spread through him as he quickly jogs over to the formed circle, and he’s barely paying attention to what Coach Ukai is saying—although he does hear “And since Kageyama isn’t here, we’ll be trying the third formation instead of the first…”—but then before he knows it everyone is already running to an assumed formation on the court, and he doesn’t know what to do…

“Oi, Hinata!” 

Hinata snaps out of his daze and turns towards the coach. “Pay attention next time, we’re reviewing last week’s practice game, third formation!” Coach Ukai halfheartedly snaps before his face softens and he adds, “You’re on Suga’s side.”

“Y-yes, sir!” Hinata hurridley walks over to the other side of the court and weakly smiles at Suga who does a concerned thumbs-up. He takes his position between Tsuishima and Tanaka, and he’s vaguely aware of the sound of a ball being served. He glances over his shoulder, quick enough to see Asahi land from his powerful jump serve. 

Hinata suddenly slaps his hands against his face in an effort to wake himself up, and out of the corner of his eye he see’s Tsukishima give him a weird look. Hinata ignores it though, and watches as the ball quickly sails over the net and onto the other side, where Ennoshita receives it, making it bounce high into the air. 

The next motion happens so quickly that Hinata almost doesn’t catch it. What he sees, though, is Kinnoshota running and then jumping as if he’s going to serve, but then in the next second he’s setting the ball to the far end of the net, and there’s Yamaguchi jumping, strong arms spiking the ball down seconds later. 

Hinata see’s Coach Ukai blow his whistle from the sidelines—Kiyoko and Yachi standing right next to him—and he walks forward motioning to them with his hands. Hinata lags behind but manages to squeeze through his teammates that are huddled in a circle, to find a more viewable spot. 

He can’t help it though, and soon he’s blanking out, nodding at random times subconsciously. 

Mind you Hinata is never this bored. And it’s not that he’s bored, really, it’s more like a loss of his attention. And even if he was sick, he’d go through everything just to play a good match of volleyball with his friends. 

He wonders briefly if this has to do with Kageyama, and then dismisses the thought off because he’s pretty sure it does. 

“Now we’re going to be reviewing our play, second set, and then the possible counterattacks we could carry out.”

This time Hinata is prepared, and he turns on cue with his teammates and goes to his respective side. He stands at position top middle, again like last time, but this time Tanaka whisper-yells at him, “Hinata, we’re changing rotation!”

“Huh—we are?” 

“Shorty, it’s your turn to serve, here’s the ball!”

Hinata turns at the annoying voice that is Tsukishima and gasps, right before the ball hits his face. He staggers back a bit too far and then trips against the volleyball net. He grabs at it wildly as he tries to untangle his arm that somehow got stuck between the woven squares. 

He feels a pair of arms pull him out of the net and he looks up to see Tanaka; his face reflects mostly amusement, with a bit of concern. 

“That’s it—Hinata—” Hinata peers his head around Tanaka to feebly stare at his captain, Daichi, who glares at him with a totally terrifying demeanor. “You’re taking a break for the rest of the day—”

“I’m fine, I swear!” Hinata immediately tries to wave off Daichi’s much-needed concern, but his efforts get shut down insteanslouly, and he finds himself mobily trudging out the side exit doors and out the gym towards the club rooms, per Daichi’s strict orders. 

And right before he leaves the gym, he glances back to see Tanaka and Noya sending him pitiful glances, totally understanding. 

Hinata sighs, making his way up the club room stairs, slowly dragging himself to the second floor. He really wanted to play today, and for a second he had even thought it would help him get his mind off everything. 

He was very wrong in thinking that, and it only made things worse, better handling the fact that despite how hard he tries, things are very wrong and different. And since yesterday, he had been worried restless (which was a different restlessness he felt everyday from being so hyper and active). He silently counts the doors as he passes them, stopping at the fifth one; the volleyball door is totally unrecognizable now by the huge scratch Noya caused, when he had “accidently” tried kicking the door down. 

He lazily lifts his head as he pushes down on the door handle and swings the door open…

Hinata’s eyes go wide as he sees a shaking Kageyama curled up into a ball over the newly added bench seat (placed there just weeks ago). Hianta opens his mouth to say something but it catches in his throat and all he can do is stare as he audibly hears Kageyama’s chest jolt greatly with violent sobs. 

Kageyama’s hands are in his hair, twisting the black strands so painfully tight that Hinata wonders if he’s trying to seriously pull his hair out. Kageyama’s body seems so small from where Hinata is standing, still a frozen figure standing in the doorway, until—he involuntarily coughs; he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.

And then Kageyama looks up, elbows pressing against the bench, breath hiccuping and red eyes prone to the tears streaming down his face, and—

“What are you—get out, Hinata! I’m not—get _OUT_ —”

And then Hinata cuts off his next words as he dives toward him, not even thinking, and in the next second his arms are wrapping tightly around Kageyama’s body, desperalty pulling him closer like he can’t pull him close enough. 

He can hear Kageyama utter what could only be a sound of confusion, and Hinata tries to pull him even closer, one hand moving to cradle Kageyama’s head as they both fall with a soft thud onto the floor. Hinata doesn’t let go, even as Kageyama frantically pushes at him to get off. 

“Hina—ta, s-stop—stop, I—I can’t breathe, damnit!” Kageyama fails in his tight grasp and Hinata immediately loosens his grip from around him. He then realizes that from how forceful he tried to hug Kageyama, they’re now both vertical on the ground, the bench to Hinata’s right and the row of shelves and lockers to his left. 

“What are you even doing, I told you to leave—” Kageyama starts, looking away from Hinata and pushing himself into a sitting position, but Hinata places his hands on either side of his face, gently, and Kageyama’s eyes snap back to his. 

“I don’t know, but—I’m sorry, Kageyama. I’m really sorry!” Hinata smushes his fingers into Kageyama’s face a bit too aggressively and the setter grimaces. “Sorry...again,” Hinata apologizes, dropping his hands to his sides. “I’m sor—...i’ll just leave, you probably don’t want to be around me—”

“What are you talking about?” Kageyama frowns at him, roughly wiping his cheek against his sleeves. “You hate me, right? After what I said…” Hinata quietly trails off, looking uncertainly down at his fumbling fingers. “When w-we fought...yesterday.”

Kageyama shifts and Hinata glances back up at him. “I don’t remember what you said,” Kageyama shakes his head, “But, I’m the one that should be s-sorry. I snapped at you—a-and I shouldn’t have I was just—”

“Kageyama,” Hinata scooches closer to the setter and then crosses his legs over each other, “You don’t have to apologize. You’re clearly going through something and I wasn’t a good friend in putting my own benefits first. 

This time Hinata raises his eyes to look steadily into Kageyama’s, and he stares at him, lips pressed into a tight line against each other. “I need you to know that i’m always going to be here, through all your good and bad days, Kageyama. I’m not leaving you, if you ever thought I was.”

Kageyama doesn’t say anything, just nods, and Hinata isn’t even sure if he’s aware of it, the way his movements are slow and rough, but he still watches Kageyama as he runs his hand through his hair. His fingers grip into the strands and he opens his mouth like he might say something, and Hinata leans in. “I know you won’t, i’m j-just bei—ng dumb.”

Kageyama’s voice breaks on the last two words, and Hinata’s heart tears even farther than it already has when he sees a tear run down Kageyama’s cheek. “You’re not being dumb, and you feeling like that is totally valid. But I really really need you to know that I am always here for you. We all are.”

“I didn’t mean to push you away—I didn’t want you—to s-see me like this—” Kageyama continues, breath coming out heavier. “I d-didn’t. I didn’t want to admit that I—that I actually had people that care for me. I c-couldn’t stop thinking that you were all gonna l-leave—”

Kageyama takes a sharp breath, looking at Hinata. “It felt like—I was s-suffocating, and I c-couldn’t—help wanting to—c-cry everyday—”

“Oh, Kageyama.” Hinata wraps his arms around Kageyama, pulling him close. Kageyama’s arms hesitantly reach up and then around Hinata’s back, in a comforting hug; and then Kageyama’s resolve for explaining breaks and he starts to sob. 

Hinata feels Kageyama rest his head in the groove of his neck, and he lifts his hand so he can softly brush his fingers over the setter’s black locks. Hinata holds Kageyama in his arms as he starts to shake, and he can hear the pained breaths that leave Kageyama’s mouth. 

His heart pains with sadness the more he listens to Kageyama cry, because the thought of Kageyama going through this alone, is terrifying for him to think about; and the thought that Kageyama had actually been going through this alone cracks Hinata’s heart right in two. 

“It’s okay, Kageyama,” Hinata whispers, his hand now cradling the setter’s head. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize earlier.”

“I’m j-just—” Kageyama sniffs before continuing, “—glad you’re h-here, Hinata.” 

“Yeah. Me, too,” Hinata sighs, loosening his grip as Kageyama sits back. Hinata’s fingers move to wipe the remaining tears of Kageyama’s face, and Kageyama weakly smiles at him. 

“I didn’t think you were here today,” Hinata admits, using the hem of his shirt to dry the wetness of Kageyama’s cheek. “I came in late,” Kageyama explains, “And I was gonna come to practice today, too, but I…”

Kageyama trails off and Hinata nods, understanding. “Wait, but—” Kageyama looks quizzingly at Hinata, “—why are you here?”

“Oh, that. Daichi said I was too distracted so he told me to take a break. And I’m glad I listened to him, “ Hinata adds, watching as Kageyama’s eyes widen slightly before he smiles. 

And, yes, it’s not as a rare sight for Hinata as it is for everyone else; Kageyama’s smile, but Hinata still treasures it no less, and he smiles back at him, feeling—for what seems like in a long while—hope and genuine happiness.


End file.
